The Cupcake Chronicles

If I wasn't so afraid, what would I do?


I would have tattoos EVERYWHERE
I would have SHORT hair
It would even be hot pink
I would have more friends
I would have the things I really wanted in life
I would have much different relationships with people
some of these people, my lack of fear might help our relationship
some of these people, my lack of fear might HURT our relationship


When I think about all that I am afraid of, I start asking myself, Why am I so afraid? I know there are somethings that are just rational things to be fearful of. Like heights. I am terrified. I'll still fly in a plane, but you won't see me skydiving. Hell no. But if I wasn't afraid, I totally would.

I wish I wasn't so afraid sometimes, but I guess in a way, it keeps me grounded. In my head, I am a very outgoing, fearless, thrill seeking human being. But my rational side tells me to shut the hell up and sit down in my seat. I've learned to shut the little bitch up enough for me to get a few things accomplished though. Like getting married. Having children. Getting a tattoo.

Probably the most irrational thing I am afraid of is Ferrets. Yes. Those creepy little spineless bastards. Ew. gross. They make me want to vomit. One thing that I think is probably more insane to be fearful of is my Life. I'm so scared to take charge of my life and really really be who I want to be. I'm constantly making excuses, and not changing. And it's just recently come to my attention. I'm afraid to be me. I think I'm more afraid that I wont like who I really am.

I'm all sorts of messed up today.


Enough about this fear crap. I have to stop being so afraid.