The Cupcake Chronicles

Sometimes I wish I didn't have so many random thoughts running through my head all the time, but then there are other times where I'm acually quite entertained by it :)

One thing that has really been going through my head is my level of stress I'm allowing in my life. I don't know why I do it, but I do. I just keep adding on more and more, I guess in hopes of becoming a saint of some sort I guess. Thing is, NOW is not the s time in my life where I can do this. I'm impatient for the time where I can, so I jump. And then regret sets in. A good friend of mine gives me the "weeding your garden" speech everyonce in a while when things get the way that they do.

Weeding my garden consists of out with the old, and maybe not in with the new. I need to weed through and find the people who make my life nice, calm, breezy...like a nice wind on a pretty fall day. And I need to get rid of the ones who just make my life a horrible little mess, like a hot sticky August afternoon. Unfortunatly, this is easier said than done. Especially when they live in close proximity to you.

I have a sweet girl and her 6 week old baby living with us right now. Which, normally, shouldn't be too big of a deal, if we had more room. Enough room does not inclue a 2 bedroom 900 sq ft apartment and 2 small children. Stuff is EVERYWHERE. I mean everywhere. But I'm trying to really step back and understand where she is at right now. Problem is, she can't be my problem. She is suffering from a lot more things than I can help her with. That baby really needs a mommy, and I'm afraid for her. So that's why I haven't stamped my foot in protest to get her out. I mean, we really need her to not live here, BUT, I just can't help thinking about that baby. I have seen her every day for the past few weeks. And she's growing, and smiling. All these little things I didn't think I missed to much. Even the way she smells. Oh, that little baby smell is devine! I can't just let her go without a place to stay. The other argument though, is, how is this fair to MY family. And it's just not. I'm so torn on this. It's been a really hard past few weeks on me, and I've been keeping quiet because I know how trivial it all is in the long run, but I blew up Sunday night. And Monday was still hard. And today is a little LESS hard, but I need to start weeding or else my next blow up will be sooner than later. I don't like that "me". And because that part of me was unleashed, I have lost 2 friends. Which, honestly, I wont miss. THAT part of weeding was easy :P