When it rains it poursAnd that's all I'm gonna say.
Eh, no it's not. I'm learning to suck up my pride and ask for help. Things could get worse I guess. I sent an email to a friend and told him that today couldn't get any worse. He replied with "don't say that, because you can always get proven wrong..." Then my day promptly got shittier. So then he told me to never say that again :) So I'm not. It could get worse. But I'm not going to let it. Tonight I have a night with just me and my baby. And tomorrow is her birthday party. Tonight we are going to work to get her room clean. Luckily she is at an age where she loves helping me with tasks. So we are going to be able to hang out AND I can get some stuff done. I'm working on decluttering. That will help a lot. Then tomorrow we will wake up, get all pretty and go have a fantastic birthday party! After that, we are going to take a nap, and then go to a baby shower together. Serious mommy and daughter time. The littlest one might come too, but that depends on her mood and if she gets a nap. Then after the baby shower, we will come back home and watch movies and have a snack and just hang out. I can't wait. It's going to be a good weekend if it kills me :)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Today is my baby girl's 5th birthday! I can't believe it! Where did this time go? She's the most incredible, smart, funny, awesome kid EVER.
For example:
and she's a damn good harmonica player:
and this one? Well it's just too cute not to share...
I'm really trying like always to enjoy all these moments. They will be gone soon enough. And then I'll have a screaming teenager who hates me :) Her party is this Saturday and it's gonna be fun, but LOUD! It's at an indoor inflatable jump gym type thing. Expensive, and a rip off, and worth it because she wanted this soooo badly. I know a few things she got already and she's going to be so excited! My mom got her Hanna Montana sheets for her bed because that is her new thing now...fun stuff :P
I made my first practice cake last night. Looks like hell! haha! I guess I'm going to need a lot more practice. BUT I'm not discouraged. It was my first one (well first one that I'm really trying to do a perfect job on). I think that with some of this pent up *stuff* I will be able to really take a lot of time to practice at it. It was almost calming to sit down and try. Get's my mind off things. So people around me are going to be eating a LOT of cake. :)
For example:
and she's a damn good harmonica player:
and this one? Well it's just too cute not to share...
I'm really trying like always to enjoy all these moments. They will be gone soon enough. And then I'll have a screaming teenager who hates me :) Her party is this Saturday and it's gonna be fun, but LOUD! It's at an indoor inflatable jump gym type thing. Expensive, and a rip off, and worth it because she wanted this soooo badly. I know a few things she got already and she's going to be so excited! My mom got her Hanna Montana sheets for her bed because that is her new thing now...fun stuff :P
I made my first practice cake last night. Looks like hell! haha! I guess I'm going to need a lot more practice. BUT I'm not discouraged. It was my first one (well first one that I'm really trying to do a perfect job on). I think that with some of this pent up *stuff* I will be able to really take a lot of time to practice at it. It was almost calming to sit down and try. Get's my mind off things. So people around me are going to be eating a LOT of cake. :)
Monday, October 20, 2008
And just like that *he* seems to be almost over it. I could ask for it back, but I don't want it, and it's just not worth my time. I'm just not looking forward to the holidays. I need to find more humor in my life to blog about. This shit is getting deeply depressing. I guess it's just because of where I'm at right now though. I'm going to make my icing tonight for my cakes. Trying to keep myself occupied. I took up a little project in about 3 weeks. I'm going to do a groom's cake for free to practice for a co-workers daughter. She was going to have one, but didn't have the time or $ to, so I offered to do it for free since I want the practice :) The girl I'm taking the class with is going to help me so we can both get a little practice. I think I'm going to curb some of my *frustration* into cake making this week. Should be good for me.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
From lack of lovin'. And I'm starting to look at people a little strange now. :) Must go find b.o.b.
On other notes, had coffee with a friend the other night. Out way too late, but it was so fun to just hang out. And tonight I have my first cake decorating class!!!! A co worker and I are going together for 2 hours of learning to decorate cakes!! I'm soooo excited!!
On other notes, had coffee with a friend the other night. Out way too late, but it was so fun to just hang out. And tonight I have my first cake decorating class!!!! A co worker and I are going together for 2 hours of learning to decorate cakes!! I'm soooo excited!!
Monday, October 13, 2008
I realized this weekend how much I can not STAND *him*.
His voice. grates.on.my.nerves. He's so damn nosey about my shit too. Do you know he got his panties all up in a wod in his butt over my phone ringer????? Yes, You read correctly. A phone ringer. Not just one time, but on different days. He's friggin' paranoid. I told him the other day that I don't have a boyfriend, I don't know that I EVER want a boyfriend, and he needs to chill the EFF out. If there is a next time, I swear to you it will take forever. I will be with my best friend next time. Because I really think that if *him* and I were close before we got married, we might have worked. I just couldn't do that with someone that there was no history of at least friendship first. We didn't really even have that "talking" stage. We met, and immediatly started dating. And 6 months later, we were married. I'm not doing that again if there is an "again". But I have to say that I am thankful that I am still young enough to have somewhat of a fresh start to really nail down what I want and need from a man. Hell, if I even want a man. I'm almost content being single right now. Of course, I need to be given the current status. But seriously, the only thing that bothers me is that it does get lonley. But other than that, I so enjoy doing my thing and making my own choices again. It's liberating and aside from being bored and a little lonley at times, I'm kind of starting to like it a little bit. NOT A LOT. Just a tiny bit :)
His voice. grates.on.my.nerves. He's so damn nosey about my shit too. Do you know he got his panties all up in a wod in his butt over my phone ringer????? Yes, You read correctly. A phone ringer. Not just one time, but on different days. He's friggin' paranoid. I told him the other day that I don't have a boyfriend, I don't know that I EVER want a boyfriend, and he needs to chill the EFF out. If there is a next time, I swear to you it will take forever. I will be with my best friend next time. Because I really think that if *him* and I were close before we got married, we might have worked. I just couldn't do that with someone that there was no history of at least friendship first. We didn't really even have that "talking" stage. We met, and immediatly started dating. And 6 months later, we were married. I'm not doing that again if there is an "again". But I have to say that I am thankful that I am still young enough to have somewhat of a fresh start to really nail down what I want and need from a man. Hell, if I even want a man. I'm almost content being single right now. Of course, I need to be given the current status. But seriously, the only thing that bothers me is that it does get lonley. But other than that, I so enjoy doing my thing and making my own choices again. It's liberating and aside from being bored and a little lonley at times, I'm kind of starting to like it a little bit. NOT A LOT. Just a tiny bit :)
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Seems as though the more the days go by, the more I'm losing. My list of people not talking to me has grown tremendously. And so has my depression. I can't trust anyone. Anyone I have ever trusted has proved to me that I shouldn't. And I don't know if I ever will again.
On other news, my mother had a byopsy done week before last, and the results came in yesterday. She has a rare skin disease called mastocytosis. She's freaking out, and I'm trying not to. Deep down, I usually know when things are going to be ok, but I don't know about this. Although, my emotions are a little off right now. So maybe it will be ok, I just can't see it right now. But she's going to have to see a dermatologist and a hemotologist. Apperantly, this can be linked to a blood disorder. So on Thursday, I insisted I go to the Dr. with her. I can miss some work for this. I think I'm going for a few reasons though. One, because I know her. She's like me. The Dr. will talk, and she will try to process. She needs someone else there that can listen and ask questions too. And when some of the information goes through her head, I can add more to it from what I remember. I also want to know what the Dr. says for my OWN good. My mother and I are almost identical health wise. I think there is a part of me that wants to know if this is somehting I should watch for. Is it genetic? In the past few years, as I find out just how many health problems we have the same, I find myself obsessed with wanting to know if it's genetic or not. I don't want to put things off and ignore them just to have it affect me in the long run. I think I'm going off the deepend...
On other news, my mother had a byopsy done week before last, and the results came in yesterday. She has a rare skin disease called mastocytosis. She's freaking out, and I'm trying not to. Deep down, I usually know when things are going to be ok, but I don't know about this. Although, my emotions are a little off right now. So maybe it will be ok, I just can't see it right now. But she's going to have to see a dermatologist and a hemotologist. Apperantly, this can be linked to a blood disorder. So on Thursday, I insisted I go to the Dr. with her. I can miss some work for this. I think I'm going for a few reasons though. One, because I know her. She's like me. The Dr. will talk, and she will try to process. She needs someone else there that can listen and ask questions too. And when some of the information goes through her head, I can add more to it from what I remember. I also want to know what the Dr. says for my OWN good. My mother and I are almost identical health wise. I think there is a part of me that wants to know if this is somehting I should watch for. Is it genetic? In the past few years, as I find out just how many health problems we have the same, I find myself obsessed with wanting to know if it's genetic or not. I don't want to put things off and ignore them just to have it affect me in the long run. I think I'm going off the deepend...