The Cupcake Chronicles

I guess each night is getting a little harder. I'm trying to pick up a hobby or something, but I'm afraid my heart just wouldn't be in it right now. My heart doesn't seem to be in much latley. I seem to get in these good moods, and it seems it doesn't take much to get me back down to being depressed. It wouldn't be so bad, except I really am trying to be happier. I mean, that's why I'm getting divored, right? To finally be happy. But today, I missed him. I really really missed him. But I think I miss the idea of him. Not him. Then I talked to him, and realized that, yes, it was the IDEA that I missed. And I don't want to be alone. But it's a big fear of mine, to be alone. I don't really want to be tied down right now, but I don't want to be alone either.